Right Within

A static-y version of Lauryn Hill's Doo Wop filled my ears as I rode my '88 Toyota Camry home from Stinson beach this afternoon. We wound around the curves of the road, teetering on the edge of cliffs that drop off to sparkling oceans and abundant evergreens. Afternoon sunshine coupled with pockets of cool, cool shade covered me and my beloved car (we been through a lot together--she was stolen from outside my house two years ago and we are still together and goin' strong!). I let the sunlight and the Doo Wop fill me, taking me over. "How you gon' win when you ain't right within?" Lauryn's voice questions me. In this moment, there is no doubt in my mind; I am right within.

Let me take you through my day. I awoke to grey skies and Bay morning fog, after spending the night in my own bed. I stepped off a plane last night to my mom, dad, and sis waiting for me at the airport, was driven home to find a veggie burrito, dad's guacamole, and freshly cut watermelon waiting for me. Crawled into bed and passed out under the layers of covers.
I woke up to a bbm from one of my closest NY friends, sending salutations to my mama and telling me she can only imagine how ultra-bubbly I am right now, in my happy place and space. Dad's oatmeal pancakes and a convo with mom about where I will land after college. We are leaning towards home, discussing the fact that we are a family-oriented family. Then again, you never know...baby sister is talking about East Coasting it next year. I have already been gone for her crucial high school years, so being nearby for her college years means a lot to me.

I decided at about 10:45am to go to Stinson beach--with a group of people leaving Oakland at 11am. My boy runs a high school drop-out prevention program, and they were taking the youth to the beach. When he called me asking that I pick up one of the young folks on the way, my decision was sealed; I was beach bound. I threw on a bathing suit, long cotton dress, mega-sized earrings my sister bought me as a welcome-home gift, and was en route. We spent the day BBQing, sun-soaking (the three lighter-complexioned folks lathered up with sunscreen, which prompted the comment, "now it smells like white people!"), and sharing words.

I arrived home with plans to visit a friend, but when my dad suggested family dinner, family dinner it was. We went out to this new little Italian place on MacArthur, which I used to scowl at when I drove past because from the outside it looks unaffordable and too new. Not the case. A boy who grew up around the corner is the main waiter, and we drove up to his dad sitting outside with their pitbull-and-something mutt, enjoying some shrimp spaghetti. The boy-next-door wasn't our waiter, but came over and checked in with me about life, and then let us know he'd make sure we were well taken care of. Town business.

I'm off now to do more checking-in and freeway-driving with my windows down and jank radio all the way up. And I just might win. I am right within.